The truth about pregnancy

I’ve always been a little weary about being too vocal in regards to how shit I’m feeling while I am pregnant. I know there are people out there struggling to conceive or who simply cannot have children so please know this blog is not intended to upset or offend anybody. I’ve seen celebrities and public figures get flamed for expressing how they really feel. Truth is, like me, they’re not out to upset anybody.

This blog was built on MY OWN experiences and HONESTY and that is how it shall remain.

I would never go as far as saying I hate being pregnant, hate is a strong word. I just have a problem with the way it is portrayed in the media and in the movies.

I wish women would be more open and honest when it comes to pregnancy.

For me, pregnancy sucked a bag of dicks.

If you had the perfect pregnancy and enjoyed every moment, I envy you. I turn into a total fucking psycho. Am a bawling mess one minute, completely irrational the next and then in fits of rage within seconds. Hormones, fucking hormones! Sometimes I feel like I need to walk around with an ‘approach with caution’ sign around my neck. I have to bite my tongue while skimming my Facebook feed and seeing the utter bullshit that is often being shared/posted.

Being pregnant IS an exciting time, you’re growing life – you’re going to have a baby! But your body goes ‘fuck you’.

You see, the truth about pregnancy is: every pregnancy is different.  Hence why I wanted to share my experience and thoughts on the topic.

The first trimester took me by surprise, I don’t know if I’m just ignorant, or if no one talks about it openly and honestly. I was tired, so fucking tired – all of the time. In fact, I still am even in the second trimester. Not just tired, exhausted. I am puffing and out of breath from walking up six stairs. I am so light-headed and dizzy ALL of the time, I would often need to just take a moment and sit. I had the worst heartburn with Baxter from probably the 3rd trimester until he was out, nothing helped it and it was so bad to the point I wanted to vomit. My boobs feel like they’ve been injected with quick setting concrete. Don’t even get me started on the excruciating back pain.

Everybody tells you it get better after the first trimester? Mmmm, yeah, I guess – you don’t feel as shit but you still feel pretty shit.

Tired. Exhausted. Sore.

Here’s just a few things I can think of off the top of my head, I know with my current baby brain I will forget a bunch but I will no doubt remember over the coming months:

  • I can’t see my vagina anymore. In fact, I can’t see anything down there and I’m not even sure I want to
  • Your immune system is borderline non-existent, so expect to get sick at least once throughout your pregnancy
  • You will lose all dignity in the delivery room (if not before)
  • Skin tags – I didn’t even know what the fuck these were until I got pregnant
  • Glow? What glow? Yeah, that’s a combination of sweat and my new found oily skin
  • Shaving my legs? Ha, I don’t think so. Everybody down there becomes a scene from Where the Wild Things Are from 30+ weeks
  • Your sense of smell will be through the roof. Reuben just doesn’t get it but I know the rubbish needs to go out as soon as I walk into the house. I can also tell you there is clearly meat in there cos it fucking reeks. Like a fucking blood hound. They should hire pregnant woman at airports
  • You might get itchy skin – by god, under my bra line, at the top of my belly used to get so damn itchy with Baxter it drove me crazy and my doctor thought I was crazy
  • My body temp was all kinds of fucked up, sweaty mess one minute and freezing the next
  • You might get hemorrhoids (I thankfully didn’t)
  • Your feet may swell
  • Your boobs will get huge. I went from a 12C to a 14DD. Even after a small stint of breastfeeding, my tits are still huge in comparison to what they used to be
  • You will crave things – food, sex, weird things
  • You live in the most unflattering clothes for the duration of your pregnancy. Krumping tees and sweatpants are my go-to
  • You will get randoms touching your belly and saying the stupidest shit to you
  • You will gain weight; it’s totally normal so don’t be so hard on yourself
  • You will have gas – by god, ask Reuben, my pregnancy farts are repulsive
  • Discharge – that is all I will say on the matter
  • You will likely want a tonne of sex or none at all
  • The bump doesn’t disappear as soon as baby is out. I wish
  • You will lose friends and gain new ones
  • Bladder control, what bladder control? I have to cross my legs when I sneeze these days after just 1 baby. Kegels smeagals

There you have it. A shitty little pregnancy bible from my point of view. For me, I lost complete control of my body, this little human had completely taken it over and sucked every last little bit of nutrients I had.

Coming into round 2 I am so much better prepared. My body never bounced back after  #1 so how much damage can #2 do?

Would love to hear your additions!



  1. Sarah Stacey
    November 11, 2016 / 5:15 am

    OMG! I had no idea absolute exhaustion was a thing in the first trimester. Seriously, if it weren’t for my husband I may not have eaten as I would come home from work and pass out, bite his head off when he woke me for food and promptly go back to sleep. Morning sickness, that didn’t show up until the very end of the 2nd trimester, and would always hit me at the most inconvenient times and always accompanied by loss of bladder control. I was so disappointed that I hardly ever felt him move, even though he was so active in every ultrasound! I think my husband was also saddened by not being able to feel him move.

  2. November 11, 2016 / 7:37 am

    I couldn’t even go to the supermarket as I had such bad food eversions. I didn’t even know there was such a thing! TV and movies show women having cravings for strange things – I couldn’t even look at most foods!

  3. November 11, 2016 / 7:55 am

    Oh,i am so happy to contribute here,because,damn,pregnancy can be just so awful.
    I couldn’t sleep at night pretty much for the whole of my pregnancy-mostly because of discomfort or numbness from lying on the side,but sometimes I just wouldn’t fall sleep. Or I would,but also soon would wake myself up with snoring.
    I suffered from bad swelling,affecting especially my wrists and resulting in bad inflammation. Chronic pain and joints swelling continued for almost a year after i had given birth.
    The labour was gross and uberlong and painful and humiliating.
    Haemorrhoids are awful and incontinence…I really can’t wait for a surgery I will absolutely fucking demand to have after ice birthed the second child. Who hasn’t been conceived yet because, boy,do I dread another pregnancy.

  4. Rebekah
    November 11, 2016 / 8:29 am

    Yes! Me + pregnancy just don’t gel well together at all! I got bad insomnia, the last trimester was the worst! I just didn’t sleep ‘ and I love my sleep! Hemorids galore’ sitting down, walking, even taking a shit was painful! I also had the worst acid reflux I ended up losing my voice ‘ not to mention taking at least 3 showers a night to try and stop the itching. I spent the last trimester eating concrete. With my first pregnancy it was dirt and chalk, but concrete ? (extremely weird but I craved the taste and texture’ probably not the best craving to have’ it ruined my teeth) the continuous feeling of feeling sick, unfortunately that never went away, it was hideous! Always dizzy, short tempered’ the list goes on. And then my beautiful baby arrived’ I welcomed a colic baby, bad mastitis and extreme sleep deprivation. But oh my god’ I love my creations so very much !!! Even if they did make me eat concrete and dirt’

  5. Nicole
    November 11, 2016 / 8:57 am

    Oh, so relatable!!!! I had insanely hot feet every night as I went to bed, couldn’t keep them cool and then the restless legs started … there goes sleep! Worst part for me was pregnancy number two when at 39 weeks I developed PUPPS (youll have to google what it stands for, I still can’t remember) which is effectively the nastiest itchiest burning red rash you ever did lay eyes on, covering my whole belly and boobs (no where else, thank god!) I was 41+3 when I had enough and booked an induction because of it! We sure endure alot for our kids 😊

  6. Teece
    November 11, 2016 / 10:26 am

    I’m only 8 weeks and 3 days and I hate it already! Morning sickness has been so bad for me these past 4 weeks! I can’t eat anything without wanting to chuck it up within five minutes of digesting it, there’s even days that I can’t even eat or keep water down! I can smell EVERYTHING!!! My partner is already sick of me telling him to change the bin or asking him if he could smell a certain horrible smell! 😂 My fingers have been swelling up and I can’t wear my rings which I hate because I NEVER take my rings off! I hate red meat and that’s all I’ve been craving but when it’s in front of me after it’s been cooked I can’t eat it because I remember what it tastes like. I actually feel so sorry for my partner hahahah!
    Yes it’s worth all the sickness, smells and pains but I can tell you now! I won’t be pregnant for a long long long long time hhah 😂👶🏼

  7. November 14, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Brilliant honest blog!! Well done!

    • November 14, 2016 / 6:22 pm

      Thank you! 🙂 glad you enjoyed.

  8. December 6, 2016 / 6:43 pm

    I started my blog to expose pregnancy!!! We never wanted kiddos and found ourselves pregnant and I’m with you…. it sucks!!!! It will all be worth it but dang it’s hard!

  9. December 29, 2016 / 8:44 am

    I love this I’m 10 weeks and I feel everything you talked about thank you for sharing

  10. January 7, 2017 / 3:47 pm

    Your first trimester has summed up my first trimester. I’m not 16 weeks and I feel better, but the fatigue and getting winded is REAL. If I’m so much as walking a slightly faster pace than a leisurely stroll AND talking at the same time, you better believe I’ll be out of breath three words in. Also, the bloat at this stage? In the morning I look like I just have to take a shit, by the end of the day I wonder if I’m actually carrying triplets. Thank you for the hilarious, and honest post!

  11. January 15, 2017 / 5:24 pm

    just had my first and agree that people dont talk about the bad things that happen during pregnancy or post baby!

  12. January 26, 2017 / 6:38 pm

    Amen. The itching is unbearable!!!! I told my midwife and she was: yes, yes, the hormones. The hormones??? I am like a fu…ing monkey all day!

  13. January 30, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    Thanks for the heads up! I am at least somewhat more mentally prepared!

  14. February 5, 2017 / 1:50 am

    I love this post! I thought pregnancy was going to be a fun but challenging ride, but its not fun at all! this is my first pregnancy and im still in the first trimester, I am sick ALL DAY EVERYDAY! I cant bare it! the only thing that makes the day better is really cold yogurt pouches. Somebody tell me how to make the vomiting and nausea better:(

  15. jellybeanb
    February 14, 2017 / 8:17 am

    I cannot say enough how much I loved your post! I think my pure joy of being pregnant in the first place has gotten me through it so far, but I definitely feel you on some of the symptoms. I’m a little past week 17 and all I can say are: worst headaches ever! That along with sore boobs, crazy fatigue, itchiness, and those ligament stretching pains. I’m sorry it was so rough for you but kudos to sharing it with the other moms who I’m sure needed to hear that they weren’t alone. Best wishes! Your pictures look great 🙂

  16. February 23, 2017 / 11:50 am

    I cant love this more.
    So many of the same symptoms (my non stop itch is on my tender pelvic bone – so thats fun) as well as mention halitosis, non stop freezing and, I crapped myself and didn’t know it first trimester. I feel so sexy…
    My full time job (ending in a month…I’m week 13) is hiking dogs for 2 hours in the woods…in the winter. I loved my job and now with my inability to breath, or move because Im getting no oxygen my job is a LOT less entertaining and more just an inconvenience.
    I am starting to look for shirts that say “hands off the bump” and things to that effect. I have already talked to L about chaperoning me in public because I don’t like strangers to begin with – if they touch me I may lose it!!!!

  17. Brenna
    April 4, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Man I love this it’s so bloody true!! I have been having the shittest pregnancy (almost 20 weeks now) and I have had to put up with my husbands nana all weekend telling me it’s just me and theres no such thing as a bad pregnancy I’m just making it up and being lazy! I’ll be glowing before I know it! Never before have I wanted to punch an old person. Lol 🙊 hope you are feeling better now with your second almost here and thanks for sharing ☺

  18. Bella Wood
    July 31, 2019 / 8:14 am

    I needed to read that. At 34 +3 days I have just started to get back and hip pain and have not enjoyed pregnancy (as grateful as I am to be pregnant) it has been a daily challenge. I was not prepared for the fatigue and constant nausea/hunger. I have a handful of friends and most of them have decided not to become parents. Early on in my pregnancy, when I perhaps needed some social support these friends seemed to disappear and my family live far away so I am increasingly aware I need to make an effort to socialise or face isolation. That said, I really want to utilise my maternity leave, not only to be the best mum I can but to change career. P.s thanks for mentioning skin tags, I was convinced I was developing diabetes as didn’t realise it could be the pregnancy.

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