As if the 3 trimesters of pregnancy weren’t enough, there’s actually another one. Yes, the fourth trimester is an actual thing. Basically, it’s the idea that the first 3 months of life are very much an extension of life in the womb for baby.

In my opinion, the first 12 weeks with a newborn (see my survival tips here) are the most difficult. Hence why it’s been dubbed ‘the 4th trimester’. Nobody really tells you (warns you) or talks about it and I’m not really sure why. In the hospital they often tell you about the dreaded 2nd night, I’m pretty sure with Baxter we were even given a print out on what to expect. Constant feeding being the main thing and most babes don’t know their day from night in those early days (sometimes weeks).

I did some googling….

“Your baby’s fourth trimester starts from the moment he/she is born and lasts until he/she is three months old. The term is used to describe a period of great change and development in your newborn, as he/she adjusts to his/her new world outside your womb. You may find the term “trimester” odd, since your baby is already born.”

So there. It is a ‘thing’.

I’ve always told people that things get better after the first 12 weeks, they’re not so fresh, they respond (some what), they smile and are a lot less fragile and become more interactive each and every day.

Back to the whole ‘fourth trimester’ thing. Imagine what the life is like for you wee one tucked up inside your womb: tightly cocooned in a warm, dark, comforting place. Constantly hearing the safe sound of mums heartbeat. This is why they’re like koala’s once earthside. They take comfort in the sound of mum’s heartbeat and her smell. Mum’s chest is their safe place. Your baby will want to be held by you, and only you. Babywearing can help during this period to enable you to still go to the bathroom and do things that help you feel sane without being stuck under a newborn 24/7.

I look at the fourth trimester similar to the third trimester for many. You’re tired, your uncomfortable and many of us are anxious. Some of us still look like we’re pregnant, I know I did – just a lot more squishy!

Nobody warned me about the contractions after birth if you’re breastfeeding, your uterus contacts when you feed and it can take up to 12 weeks for it to return to is normal size. I found I bled more during those first few feeds too.

Don’t worry too much about creating bad habits during this time, you can’t spoil a newborn. They’re still too young to form bad habits.

The fourth trimester is an adjustment period for all, mums/dads & babies. I just wish there was more discussions surrounding it so we can align our expectations and not be so overwhelmed.

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There are so many little lies you’ll be told coming into this whole parenting gig. These little lies turn out to be BIG Little Lies!

So to celebrate the launch of SKY premiering the new HBO drama “Big Little Lies” on SoHo and NEON, they’ve and asked me for my top five Big Little Lies that parents & parents-to-be are told, I said, “what, you only need five?”.

  1. Sleep when you can.

Um OK, so when is that? Never.. between caring for the needs of a newborn (there are a lot), maintaining a household and also caring for other children (+ manchild) you will likely never sleep again. On the upside, it does give you more time to watch good TV. But I am sure it gets better.

  1. They’ll stop eating when they’re full.

Yeah… they don’t. They vomit and have explosive nappies. They’re like animals, they don’t really have a filter and they don’t know their own limits. I am sure it gets better (this is my answer to everything when it comes to parenting if you haven’t already worked it out).

  1. It’s just a phase which will pass.

OK, When? I am 30 and my parents are still wondering when this ‘phase’ will pass. Each phase morphs into the next… so be mindful of that. It gets better…

  1. Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful journeys you’ll ever experience.

If you had an amazing, stress-free and beautiful pregnancy, go you. Most of us don’t. I would almost make up a figure, let’s go with 80% of women don’t enjoy being pregnant. Yes, it is so worthwhile and the end result is one so amazing not even words can express but the pregnancy itself? You’ll feel like absolute rubbish for a large majority. “It gets better in the 2nd trimester”. Yes, it does. Then it goes back to being shit again in the 3rd. You’ll be tired and you’ll be sore and by about 32 weeks, you’ll be well and truly over it. It gets better, haha – see below.

  1. It gets better.

When they’re a full blown adult maybe. Even then, you’ll still be dealing with their shit, as my folks remind me on the daily – haha.

With everything, the good outweighs the bad. Parenting isn’t easy if somebody tells you it is – they’re likely to be lying. Nothing can really prepare you for the whirlwind experience. Let me say, though, you start to experience more good days than bad and the sleepless nights eventually become a distant memory when you’re in a haze of Pinot Noir and the kids have finally tired themselves out enough to fall asleep on the middle of their bedroom floor.

Which is the perfect time to engage in my favourite activity and the one thing that has kept me going – entertaining TV – I thrive off it and it keeps me sane.

So I was excited to hear about the new HBO drama, Big Little Lies, that tells the tale of three mothers of first graders, whose apparently perfect lives unravel to the point of murder.

Starring Reese Witherspoon (Wild), Nicole Kidman (Lion), Shailene Woodley (The Fault In Our Stars), Laura Dern (Enlightened), Alexander Skarsgård (True Blood), Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation), James Tupper (Revenge), and Zoë Kravitz (Divergent) form a stellar ensemble cast in this HBO mini-series, written and executive produced by David E. Kelley.

It is based on the novel by best-selling author Liane Moriarty.

Check out Big Little Lies on SoHo on SKY at 8:30pm on Sunday’s. And now available express on NEON – Get started with a 30-day free trial here http://bit.ly/2kYi3IB

#biglittleliesnz #neonnz #collab

Note: This post has been in collaboration with Sky TV. All views, opinions and writing is my own and we do not work with anybody we do not know, support and/or love.

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I’ve always been a little weary about being too vocal in regards to how shit I’m feeling while I am pregnant. I know there are people out there struggling to conceive or who simply cannot have children so please know this blog is not intended to upset or offend anybody. I’ve seen celebrities and public figures get flamed for expressing how they really feel. Truth is, like me, they’re not out to upset anybody.

This blog was built on MY OWN experiences and HONESTY and that is how it shall remain.

I would never go as far as saying I hate being pregnant, hate is a strong word. I just have a problem with the way it is portrayed in the media and in the movies.

I wish women would be more open and honest when it comes to pregnancy.

For me, pregnancy sucked a bag of dicks.

If you had the perfect pregnancy and enjoyed every moment, I envy you. I turn into a total fucking psycho. Am a bawling mess one minute, completely irrational the next and then in fits of rage within seconds. Hormones, fucking hormones! Sometimes I feel like I need to walk around with an ‘approach with caution’ sign around my neck. I have to bite my tongue while skimming my Facebook feed and seeing the utter bullshit that is often being shared/posted.

Being pregnant IS an exciting time, you’re growing life – you’re going to have a baby! But your body goes ‘fuck you’.

You see, the truth about pregnancy is: every pregnancy is different.  Hence why I wanted to share my experience and thoughts on the topic.

The first trimester took me by surprise, I don’t know if I’m just ignorant, or if no one talks about it openly and honestly. I was tired, so fucking tired – all of the time. In fact, I still am even in the second trimester. Not just tired, exhausted. I am puffing and out of breath from walking up six stairs. I am so light-headed and dizzy ALL of the time, I would often need to just take a moment and sit. I had the worst heartburn with Baxter from probably the 3rd trimester until he was out, nothing helped it and it was so bad to the point I wanted to vomit. My boobs feel like they’ve been injected with quick setting concrete. Don’t even get me started on the excruciating back pain.

Everybody tells you it get better after the first trimester? Mmmm, yeah, I guess – you don’t feel as shit but you still feel pretty shit.

Tired. Exhausted. Sore.

Here’s just a few things I can think of off the top of my head, I know with my current baby brain I will forget a bunch but I will no doubt remember over the coming months:

  • I can’t see my vagina anymore. In fact, I can’t see anything down there and I’m not even sure I want to
  • Your immune system is borderline non-existent, so expect to get sick at least once throughout your pregnancy
  • You will lose all dignity in the delivery room (if not before)
  • Skin tags – I didn’t even know what the fuck these were until I got pregnant
  • Glow? What glow? Yeah, that’s a combination of sweat and my new found oily skin
  • Shaving my legs? Ha, I don’t think so. Everybody down there becomes a scene from Where the Wild Things Are from 30+ weeks
  • Your sense of smell will be through the roof. Reuben just doesn’t get it but I know the rubbish needs to go out as soon as I walk into the house. I can also tell you there is clearly meat in there cos it fucking reeks. Like a fucking blood hound. They should hire pregnant woman at airports
  • You might get itchy skin – by god, under my bra line, at the top of my belly used to get so damn itchy with Baxter it drove me crazy and my doctor thought I was crazy
  • My body temp was all kinds of fucked up, sweaty mess one minute and freezing the next
  • You might get hemorrhoids (I thankfully didn’t)
  • Your feet may swell
  • Your boobs will get huge. I went from a 12C to a 14DD. Even after a small stint of breastfeeding, my tits are still huge in comparison to what they used to be
  • You will crave things – food, sex, weird things
  • You live in the most unflattering clothes for the duration of your pregnancy. Krumping tees and sweatpants are my go-to
  • You will get randoms touching your belly and saying the stupidest shit to you
  • You will gain weight; it’s totally normal so don’t be so hard on yourself
  • You will have gas – by god, ask Reuben, my pregnancy farts are repulsive
  • Discharge – that is all I will say on the matter
  • You will likely want a tonne of sex or none at all
  • The bump doesn’t disappear as soon as baby is out. I wish
  • You will lose friends and gain new ones
  • Bladder control, what bladder control? I have to cross my legs when I sneeze these days after just 1 baby. Kegels smeagals

There you have it. A shitty little pregnancy bible from my point of view. For me, I lost complete control of my body, this little human had completely taken it over and sucked every last little bit of nutrients I had.

Coming into round 2 I am so much better prepared. My body never bounced back after  #1 so how much damage can #2 do?

Would love to hear your additions!

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