Kindness is one of the things I want to see more of. It’s one of those feelings or moments that tend to stick with me the most. At that moment, a person is presented with various options – and they chose to be kind. That is pretty cool, we need more kindness in the world.
I was at Kmart today (again.. I know, I’m on a cleaning/organizing buzz). Baxter wouldn’t listen and Lily well, don’t even get me started. Some amazing woman helped me out, wrangling a trolley and fighting lily into said trolley. The gesture and kindness went such a long way. I was visibly stressed and losing patience at a rapid rate.
Kmart was their last chance before we went home.. I was taking Baxter into Toyworld in town to pick a toy after he went poos on the toilet (long story) and Lily completely lost the plot, wouldn’t listen, was having the mad tantrums and kept running off. I have never been so embarrassed and had to walk out only 5 minutes after getting them out of the car and into the store. I had to leave, I was losing my control.
I didn’t know the woman who chose to stop and help me and that is the beauty of it. Some beautiful stranger seen me struggling, she had a child with her so can probably relate. I felt embarrassed that I had indeed needed the help and that I wasn’t able to control both of the kids at that time but I was so grateful. It made me smile and brought me back down to reality (I was pretty wound up after the Toyworld incident). Her actions completely changed my day.
Isn’t it incredible that one moment can change your entire day or mindset? When was the last time you showed kindness? Maybe a random act to a stranger and paid it forward.
A positive mind and a full heart can have a huge impact on your wellbeing.
Here are a few ways you could show kindness this coming week I did a mass google but these stood out to me and I can proudly say I currently do these things:
- Smile and say “hello” or “good morning” to a stranger walking down the street
- Pay for the person’s coffee behind you
- Create a care package for someone feeling under the weather
- Let another driver merge into your lane – and don’t hate them for it (K, I don’t do this much – but I’ll try)
- Thank a service person such as a police officer or fireman for their hard work and dedication to serving others – massive YES.
- Give up your seat on the bus/train. Does it matter if they’re pregnant or elderly? If they look like they could do with a seat – give them one!
- Always keep your word
- Stick up for a person who has been treated wrongly – no good talking about it after, take action now
- Let someone, who only has a few items, go ahead of you in the checkout line of the supermarket.
Next time you see a mum struggling (or anybody for that matter), help them out – we’ve all been there x
Thank you, whoever and wherever you are. You made a shitty day, a little less shitty.
Is it THAT time?
Reuben had always sworn Lily would be in her cot until she was 5 because well, she’s trouble. We had an incident the other week where she climbed out of her cot for the first time. Out of pure fear and in hope ditching the cot would prevent a more than likely injury.
We already had Baxter’s adorable old toddler bed so decided to introduce her to the ‘big girl bed’.
I don’t have any advice on the best way to do it, with both kids we decided to just ‘rip the bandaid’ off and get it over with. It totally worked with Baxter, he never once got out of bed and still doesn’t until the morning. Lily on the other hand has been a total nightmare in the sleep department from about 1.5 years.
We don’t have conventional doors, imagine giant glass sliding ones (yeah, so great for kids right?) so they’re quite difficult to work with. Both kids have their doors shut at night. Baxter doesn’t have a night light and we’ve just introduced one to Lily’s and managed to find a way to lock her door to stop her coming out (but easily opened in an emergency).
Tonight we’ve introduced duct tape to her light switch before well, who doesn’t love bright lights been switched on at 3am?
It’s day two and last night she managed to strip naked and piss on the floor in the middle of her bedroom.
So yeah, how do you think it’s going?
If you have any advice or words of wisdom – please.
I guess in a way this way false advertising as I don’t believe there is a quick and easy way to stay sane, BUT – I have a pretty cool option for you all.
I was recently introduced to the Nick Jr website, as Baxter is an avid fan of their “toons!” in the morning (judge away) so I knew it would be good and we weren’t wrong. The website is a hub of cool and educational content for pre-schoolers. Us mothers get peace of mind knowing it’s safe while also stimulating wee brains plus you’ll discover loads of free games, free videos as well as activities and printables via the ‘create’ section e.g. colouring in sheets, puzzles, mazes and crafts – all related and categorised by your favourite Nick Jr characters.
What I loved the most is that the site is super easy to navigate, I am obviously doing it for Baxter but a child slightly older would easily be able to navigate the site themselves. The website is a free resource than can help entertain kids on all devices – anytime, anywhere.
The current favourites in our house are PAW Patrol, Blaze and the Monster Machines, Nella the Princess Knight & Shimmer and Shine. I love that unlike most other channels, I feel 100% safe with Nick Jr and can happily watch along with the kids because the shows are surprisingly educations and each one of teaching them new skills without them even realising it like encouraging each other and being resilient.
I absolutely love the free printables and they’ve been my saviour this past week I’ve been at home with the kids while preparing to start my new job tomorrow. As a busy Mum, I had so many things to catch up on around the house (thanks to the holidays) and the pile of washing was calling my name so I jumped on http://nickjr.co.nz/ and printed of some colouring in sheets for Baxter. It’s nice to know he’s having fun and being stimulated at the same time.
Does your little one have a favourite Nick Jr activity?
Why is it that there is so much fear about being real? Why are we afraid to post photos we deem ‘bad’? Are we afraid others are going to be like “damn girl, you look like shit” and I’m all “thanks, I just pushed a baby out of my vagina”.
The number one compliment I get around my blog and what I share is that fact that its real. I am far from well-presented, I barely have my shit together and make up to me is mascara and BB cream (sometimes I splash out and wear foundation). I’ve been a tomboy most of my life and have never been one to ‘dress up’ so when I do, I feel awkward as fuck and it shows in everything I do. I always feel like I don’t fit in and this, along with me currently not being happy with my body is half the reason I don’t go out.
I am just like you, well, I don’t know you and its highly likely that you’re better looking than me but you get the idea. Somebody messaged me the other day and said “you’re so lucky, your life looks amazing – you have it all”. I don’t, I am over-worked and I am tired. I have problems just like everybody else (if you don’t, I’m hella jealous). I am kind of sad that they had that impression of me because I am very honest online and with what I share.
Sure, I may take some nice pictures of the kids, that’s the bonus of being a parent and a Photographer but have you seen many photos of me? Nope, they’re few and far between. If Reuben or somebody else happens to snap a good pic of me then I am gonna use the shit out of it (haha) and I don’t know the last time I felt I looked good enough to justify a selfie. Reuben’s idea of a spontaneous photo without me having to ask if me in bed eating KFC and sharing it on Snapchat.. yeah, thanks babe.
Let’s be real people, let’s stop being scared and shy about showing off what’s really happening. Let’s share squares of reality, not carefully composed works of art. It’s unrealistic and fucking hard to maintain. I know your real life isn’t like that, especially with a child. It’s simply not possible. You might be fooling some, but you ain’t fooling me.
I am a Mum. I am struggling with my identity these last few years. I know I am more than a Mum but I am also not the old Jess (and I don’t want to be). I am quite depressed and I am working on it but old habits are hard to break (lack of patience, high expectations for everything). I am really down on my body but in all honestly, I am currently doing nothing about it. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy but I also want to eat shit food. Time is not something I have a lot of right now so that also plays a big part in my lack of motivation to be better and feel better. I am winding down and will be finishing up my photography & work for the year so hope I can get out and do some exercise of the Christmas holidays. What a stupid time to start right? The time of year when everybody binges – ha. So there, I got my own issues, don’t you worry about that. More issues that vogue but I’m treading about water. I am honest with you guys, I see no reason not to be.
Being real is so refreshing and only then can we slowly start becoming accepting of ourselves and our own lives because we start to see others are just like us too! These unrealistic portrayals of motherhood and life in general are stupid and I am so over seeing them. They affect so many people and this makes me sad. People are so confused by social media and are literally comparing themselves, their children and their lifestyles to something that isn’t even an honest representation. We’ve all been there, I used to do. The best thing I ever did was learn to stop caring so much about what others think (thanks to reading “The Life Changing Magic of not giving a fuck) and I feel better for it. Sure, I am human. I am the queen of overthinking but I’ve stopped comparing myself to others. I have my own hustle and I don’t time to be worrying what you’re up to. In saying that, I care a lot about those close to me and I treat them right.
So here’s me, stuffing toast in my face about 10 minutes after giving birth to Lily while Reuben dresses her. How fucking good is that milo & toast post birth though!? While the images isn’t what I would deem ‘pretty’, it tells a pretty bloody cool story and that’s what photos and memories are all about.
To the mum tapping her brakes at the lights, we’ve all been there.
To the mum struggling to carry her newborn while her toddler is having a tantrum, I feel for you.
To the mum rocking her shopping trolley while the person in front faffs about with no regard or awareness that your baby is about to go from 0-100 REAL quick.
To the mum feeding her baby in the cafe while her own meal goes cold, I don’t remember the last time I ate a full meal – uninterrupted. You’re a good mum and your child will one day thank you (maybe).
To the mum who hasn’t washed her hair in over a week, you rock that mum-bun.
To the mum persevering through the pain of breastfeeding in order to prove a point or to keep others happy, do what’s best for you. A happy mum is more useless than a broken one.
To the mum who isn’t sure if that stain on her pants is food or fecal matter, you rock on.
To the mum who’s stuck on the couch under a sleeping baby while your phone is out of reach, I feel you sister.
To the mum stuck in the car with a sleeping baby/toddler not knowing whether to risk the dreaded transition. Stay there, get your phone out and relax.
To the mum swaying side to side in the coffee line, I still do it 18 months on. I don’t think it ever stops.
To the mum reading this while gritting their teeth because there child won’t go to sleep – breeeeeathe.
To the mum hiding in the bathroom crying so she can get one moment’s peace, we’ve been there.
To the mum scared to feed their child formula because of fear of judgement, just do it. Happy mum = happy baby.
We’re in this together mamas! I salute you! Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and realise this parenting gig is a tough one. We’re not alone and that there are SO many mums experiencing the same things as us each and every day but very few will openly admit it.
If you see a mama out in public, struggling, who could do with a helping hand or a hug. Reach out, you could make her day. You could be that one adult conversation she has been craving for all day.
You’re doing an amazing job, don’t question yourself mama. You’re doing just fine x