I’ve been on an offline hiatus – it’s been amazing. Yet here I am, online… writing this post… the irony. Maybe I should say, a Facebook/Instagram break.

Following on from some rather shitty abuse which I posted about, I decided to step back for a bit and reevaluate, refocus and take some time to remember why I am doing what I do. The message I posted was just a small taste of what I get. Currently I get about 1 per week, even more if something goes viral or international media sites like the daily mail pick it up. Don’t even get me started on stuff comments.

I’ve been told I shouldn’t have bred. That I am a terrible parent and that people feel sorry for my kids. I’ve been told to kill myself, that I am disgusting and a horrible person. That I post for validation or acceptance, like I really need approval from strangers but yeah. Thanks.

After a while, regardless of how strong you are, it starts to wear thing and if you’re like me and struggle with anxiety and/or depression, it does weigh on your mind after a while. You start to question the decisions you’ve made. Am I bad parent? How are Baxter & Lily going to feel about my blog in their older years? Is what I am doing wrong in some way?

After a lot of thought, I think they’ll be proud. Never once have I said anything bad about my children. I love them with all of my being and I would put them before myself any day.

Too many of us are consumed by the online world and the false personas people portray, which is why I’ve always been as real as possible. 

I don’t do what I do in order to seek validation from strangers. I set out to tell my story, share my journey and always be honest – regardless of how bad things got. For people to say that I am an attention-seeker genuinely hurts. I don’t have to share what I share, but I choose too. I’ve been vulnerable, I’ve bared it all. 

Since going offline, I’ve had a flurry of messages saying I have helped them in some way. My biggest problem is that when the going gets tough, I often forget about all the positive feedback I’ve had. I forget that I created a support group which has over 13,000 Mum’s in it, who have started an appreciation post in my absence (a friend screencapped and text it to me). Saying things like “come back, we need you”, “you/this group have got me through the dark days of being a new mum” and many more amazing more, positive words. I forget what I’ve achieved and don’t always realise the impact I’ve had on people, I get caught up by the negative comments and let them play on my mind.

I realise by putting out there it opens myself up more to this type of feedback. It is what it is and it says more about those people are their sad existence.

I now realise this, and I’m back bitches – and better than ever.

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One of my awesome followers has a YouTube Channel and a friend of hers made up a Mum Tag, it’s all about being raw and honest about motherhood (and we all know I have that down pat).

  • Describe your day as a mum today in one word.

Hectic.

  • What’s the most challenging part about connecting with other mums?

Finding the mums that you relate to on a number of levels. You can find a mum that you really gel with but your parenting styles might be so different that its kind of difficult to ‘relate’. We all parent in different ways and there is no right or wrong, its often easier to connect and form a bond with a mum who is at your level and gets your way of doing things. It’s also difficult to find the mums that are down to compete, you know the whole ‘my kids better than your kid’.

  • Share one horrible poo moment! We’ve all been there.

We’ve only ever had one hella nasty poo sitch, seriously. My last ever breastfeed and by god, there was shit EVERYWHERE, to the point I was contemplating just throwing all the clothes out as I didn’t even want to wash them.

  • How do you cope with public child meltdowns and tantrums?

I think we’ve been lucky so far and Bax hasn’t really lost this shit in public but I know it’ll come and I am sure I will blog about it when it does.

  • Honestly, how much screen time does your child have?

Very little. I can’t keep his still long enough for it to be an issue. I used to play sensory type videos on the iPad when he was a baby and came to work with me (more so I could get some work done). He will watch cartoons for all of 5 minutes and then go cause havoc somewhere in the house.

  • What’s your go to easy dinner that you give at least once a week?

Throw together meals. I am bad for it as I am a shit house cook, I think being pregnant isn’t helping with the motivation levels. I get his silicone plate with the separate compartments and give him a bunch of things he loves – ham, cheese, bread. Full of nutrition.

  • Did you yell, cry or struggle today?

Not today, for a change. Lies. Actually, I didn’t cry today which is unusual (pregnancy hormones). But I did yell. I am a shouty mum at the moment. I am tired, uncomfortable, heavily pregnant and Baxter is testing boundaries/patience levels. I’m not proud of it, but I also won’t lie about it.

  • What was the best moment of your day so far as a mum?

Putting Baxter down for bed tonight. Seriously, I need a break (and a sleep).

  • What is your secret guilty pleasure to reward your mum life?

When I wasn’t pregnant my reward was indulging in a hot bubble bath with a glass of Pinot Noir. Right now my pleasure is just seeing Baxter thrive and smile his goofy smile, makes me see I’m doing something right.

  • How often do you experience mum guilt?

I used to experience it daily. I used to let it consume me until one day something just clicked and I decided to stop feeling guilty over things I couldn’t control. I don’t care what somebody else things of my style of parenting or my decisions. Of course there are going to be occasions when I will feel guilty, it’s completely normal – but I won’t beat myself up about it.

  • Share one taboo thing about motherhood you think should be talked about more!

The struggles of breastfeeding and just the whole parenting thing as a whole and the difficulty that comes with it. People don’t talk about how tough it can be so others experiencing it think its not normal.


I would love to do more of these so post your questions below or email me, hello@newmumclub.com and I will put together a Q & A post and may even make it a regular thing!

To the mum tapping her brakes at the lights, we’ve all been there.

To the mum struggling to carry her newborn while her toddler is having a tantrum, I feel for you.

To the mum rocking her shopping trolley while the person in front faffs about with no regard or awareness that your baby is about to go from 0-100 REAL quick.

To the mum feeding her baby in the cafe while her own meal goes cold, I don’t remember the last time I ate a full meal – uninterrupted. You’re a good mum and your child will one day thank you (maybe).

To the mum who hasn’t washed her hair in over a week, you rock that mum-bun.

To the mum persevering through the pain of breastfeeding in order to prove a point or to keep others happy, do what’s best for you. A happy mum is more useless than a broken one.

To the mum who isn’t sure if that stain on her pants is food or fecal matter, you rock on.

To the mum who’s stuck on the couch under a sleeping baby while your phone is out of reach, I feel you sister.

To the mum stuck in the car with a sleeping baby/toddler not knowing whether to risk the dreaded transition. Stay there, get your phone out and relax.

To the mum swaying side to side in the coffee line, I still do it 18 months on. I don’t think it ever stops.

To the mum reading this while gritting their teeth because there child won’t go to sleep – breeeeeathe.

To the mum hiding in the bathroom crying so she can get one moment’s peace, we’ve been there.

To the mum scared to feed their child formula because of fear of judgement, just do it. Happy mum = happy baby.

We’re in this together mamas! I salute you! Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and realise this parenting gig is a tough one. We’re not alone and that there are SO many mums experiencing the same things as us each and every day but very few will openly admit it.

If you see a mama out in public, struggling, who could do with a helping hand or a hug. Reach out, you could make her day. You could be that one adult conversation she has been craving for all day.

You’re doing an amazing job, don’t question yourself mama. You’re doing just fine x

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