To the mum tapping her brakes at the lights, we’ve all been there.

To the mum struggling to carry her newborn while her toddler is having a tantrum, I feel for you.

To the mum rocking her shopping trolley while the person in front faffs about with no regard or awareness that your baby is about to go from 0-100 REAL quick.

To the mum feeding her baby in the cafe while her own meal goes cold, I don’t remember the last time I ate a full meal – uninterrupted. You’re a good mum and your child will one day thank you (maybe).

To the mum who hasn’t washed her hair in over a week, you rock that mum-bun.

To the mum persevering through the pain of breastfeeding in order to prove a point or to keep others happy, do what’s best for you. A happy mum is more useless than a broken one.

To the mum who isn’t sure if that stain on her pants is food or fecal matter, you rock on.

To the mum who’s stuck on the couch under a sleeping baby while your phone is out of reach, I feel you sister.

To the mum stuck in the car with a sleeping baby/toddler not knowing whether to risk the dreaded transition. Stay there, get your phone out and relax.

To the mum swaying side to side in the coffee line, I still do it 18 months on. I don’t think it ever stops.

To the mum reading this while gritting their teeth because there child won’t go to sleep – breeeeeathe.

To the mum hiding in the bathroom crying so she can get one moment’s peace, we’ve been there.

To the mum scared to feed their child formula because of fear of judgement, just do it. Happy mum = happy baby.

We’re in this together mamas! I salute you! Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and realise this parenting gig is a tough one. We’re not alone and that there are SO many mums experiencing the same things as us each and every day but very few will openly admit it.

If you see a mama out in public, struggling, who could do with a helping hand or a hug. Reach out, you could make her day. You could be that one adult conversation she has been craving for all day.

You’re doing an amazing job, don’t question yourself mama. You’re doing just fine x

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Breastfeeding.

I didn’t do it for as long as I’d hoped but I did it.

I tried, I struggled, I would feed him while I cried my eyes out. The pain was horrible. My bleeding and split nipples would simply not heal. I would pump and in an attempt to ease the pain, the milk was red with blood.

I cried to my midwife, I so badly wanted to breastfeed. She was so supportive and amazing, in a way I felt like I would be letting her down if I made the decision to stop.

I felt like an outsider at my antenatal group catch-ups when everybody was successfully breastfeeding and I was fumbling around trying to prepare a bottle while Baxter melted down. Don’t get me wrong, our group is full of supportive and lovely mums but it didn’t change how I personally felt.

After weeks of pain, blood and a hungry baby, my partner and I made the decision to switch to formula.

I’ve come to the realization that giving up on breastfeeding doesn’t make me a bad mother. Baxter is thriving and happy. I feel like I made the best decision for me because PND was starting to creep up on me. I was in so much pain, I kept trying, I couldn’t get him to latch properly, it didn’t feel right and mentally (and physically) it was taking its toll on me.

Some horrible people say had I persevered it would have got easier, maybe so. I did what was best for me and my baby and to this day I don’t regret my decision.

Breastfeeding is easy for some, it’s also really tough for others. Mothers who do it with ease often don’t understand how hard it can be for others, to see you feeding and wishing we could have done it. If you are successfully breastfeeding, I take my hat off to you. You’re amazing. I couldn’t do it.

I dreaded nosy people asking ‘are you breastfeeding?’ not only is it none of your business, it’s fucking rude. You have no idea the circumstances or struggles they’ve been through. Anywhere I went I was questioned about how my child was fed, plunket, the doctors, even total randoms. I felt hesitant to tell them he was bottle fed and I really wish that I (and others) were not made to feel this way.

I don’t post this to justify ‘why’ I stopped. I post it so others in the same boat don’t go through the pain and struggle that I did, so they know that it’s okay, it will get easier and it’s true what they say – happy mum = happy baby.

Fed is best.

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This photo was taken at the hospital 2 days after I’d given birth.