20.04.2017 | 3.43am | 8lb5oz – Lily Luca Bemrose


I kept going to start this blog post and simply don’t know where to start because it all happened so quickly. I wrote about Baxter’s and had trouble remembering all the details so figured I’d get onto Lily’s sooner rather than later.

For the days/nights leading up to the birth I was certain that she was ‘coming that night’. Nobody knows your body like you do and I knew stuff was going on but clearly she wasn’t quite ready.

I’ll set the scene…

The morning of the 20th rolls around, 2am – I am laying in bed and think ‘hmm, did I just wee?’ I get up and go to the toilet. It wasn’t enough for me to think much of it. I figured I was just loosing my mind. 5 min later, def not wees. I feel a warm surge of liquid – “REUBEN, get a towel! She’s coming” haha.

A friend of mine had kindly gifted me some adult nappies, what a god send. I put a pair of them sexy panties on and jumped back into bed. Reuben tells me “go back to sleep, reserve your energy” yeah, ok – thanks for that. This is what we did with Baxter but clearly Lily had other plans. Less than 5 minutes after laying in bed mildly freaking out that it was all finally happening contractions started and hit me like a freight train. 2 minutes apart from the get go and getting stronger and stronger each time. We called the midwife at 2.30am and told her what was going on, she said to come in and said she’d see us within the hour as we had to call on Reuben’s parents to come out as Bax was in bed fast asleep. Waiting for them felt like an eternity to the point that we were down in the garage with the car running. Contractions in the car are honestly hell. I thought to myself “why the fuck am I doing this to myself all over again?” and then I remembered we’d soon meet our little girl who’d complete our family and it’d all be worth it.

They finally arrived and we were on the road just after 3am. Shit was getting more intense as time went on and I kept saying to Reuben “this baby is coming, I feel like I need to push”.

We were traveling from Lower Hutt to Wellington Hospital where we’d chosen to give birth and we most definitely ran a few red lights when Reuben realized I wasn’t exaggerating and this baby was coming, and fast.

We arrived at the hospital carpark delivery suite lifts, they’re locked after hours and you have to use the phone of doom. We called up and said “yeah, we’re about to have a baby in the carpark” and we waited, and waited, and waited…. I was literally leaning against the parking machine, nappy and all, crossing my legs in an attempt to keep this baby in all while some teens were in the carpark getting wasted. Fun times. After what felt like 10 minutes, we called the midwife to tell her we were in the carpark and an orderly had still not come to let us up. She shortly greeted us in the lift and we were on our way up to delivery suite. It would have been about 3.30am by the time we got into the room which Reuben labeled the dojo.

I literally when into sheer panic within seconds as everything was happening so insanely fast. I yelled at my midwife saying I needed to push, I felt SO much pressure it was insane. She said the rest of my waters hadn’t gone and that was probably the pressure. Within seconds of her observation and examination, WHOOOSH – the rest of the waters go and I shit myself at the same time (I’d hoped I wouldn’t as I didn’t with Baxter but honestly don’t even give a shit now I think about it – see what I did there). Great idea on the chicken tandoori, Reuben. Lol.

I am not even exaggerating, within seconds I was pushing, 2 pushes and Lily Luca was born at 3.43am. 13 minutes after arriving into the delivery suite. If you were following our live updates on Snapchat you would have seen the gap in Reuben’s story, it literally happened THAT quickly. I am scared to think what had happened if she didn’t come down and get us from the carpark when she did or if I’d gone into labour at a different time of day and had traffic to compete with.

Lily was born happy and healthy (well, so we thought). In the days prior we learned that she’d potentially contracted some type of viral infection and her body was not strong enough to fight it off. She was having trouble with her breathing and was not maintaining a healthy body temp. We spent 4 days in the Wellington Children’s Hospital and I cannot express enough how amazing the staff were throughout our stay.

It was an extremely tough and emotional time for me since EVERY single family member on both sides got hit with Gastro. Dad, Mum (passed out at our place while caring for Baxter and got concussion), Baxter, Reuben’s Mum & Dad and then Reuben dramatically collapsed at the Children’s Hospital and spent the day in a private room there in isolation vomiting etc. It was fucking tough I tell you, due to everybody being sick and us not wanting Lily to be exposed to it I was doing this all on my own. It was difficult for Reuben and the rest of the families as they weren’t even able to see Lily. We communicated via text, FB chat and FaceTime. It was one of the loneliest and toughest few days I’ve experienced to date. It was so hard knowing Baxter was really sick and I couldn’t even see him and had to take everybody’s word that he was OK. I knew he wasn’t. I could feel my depression and anxiety coming flooding back and cried myself to sleep every single night. I put on a brave face/voice for Reuben most of the time but he knew it was killing me.

Everybody is OK now, Lily and I are back at home. Reuben and the rest of the family has recovered. Baxter seems to be 95% although I think some of his not being 100% is the getting adjusted to the fact there is another person in the house now. He is really good with Lily and comes in and says “halllooo lilllllly”. Cute af.

Reuben has been absolutely amazing despite all the drama. I can tell already that him and Lily are going to have the cutest bond ever.

So there you have it, the birth of Lily Luca Bemrose. Quite the exciting and dramatic story.

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I really wished I’d written notes about my birth earlier as 10 weeks on is not the most ideal time to recollect it, whilst the labor itself feels like a blur now I will do my best to remember the details.

To put things into perspective, my due date was the 28th of August. I was so desperate to get this baby out earlier, if not on my due date. I drunk copious amounts of raspberry leaf tea (which tastes like radiator water), I bounced on the swiss ball till I couldn’t bounce anymore, I curb-walked and I had lots of sex (upon instructions from my midwife) although feeling like a beached whale and having sex was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Ladies, you know exactly what I mean.

As a first time mum, being overdue was like the end of the world, seriously. I was in the mindset that this baby was never coming and that he’d be in there forever.

The 30th of August rolls around and I wake at 5.30am. I felt/heard something weird, I reluctantly put my hands ‘down there’ and felt warm liquid. For a moment there I thought I’d pissed the bed. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My waters had broken, it was not what I’d expected from seeing way to many unrealistic american movies. I managed to save the mess in my bed and made it to the bathroom somehow. I sat on the toilet thinking ‘holy fuck, this is happening’. I woke up my partner and was like ‘um, I think my waters just broke’, we’re both in a panic running around the house yelling ‘he’s coming, he’s coming’. He told me to try get some sleep, um, yeah right. That was not happening. I think I may have drifted off for a very small period of time but my mind simply wouldn’t let me. The day I’d been waiting for was finally here and I was shitting bricks (not literally, but may as well have). As it was so early int he morning we decided to hold off calling the midwife until later that morning (9am). Contractions were quite far apart at that stage and I was still questioning myself as to whether this was the real deal or not. My midwife was off for the weekend (typical, I KNEW it was going to happened on her scheduled weekend off!). Backup midwife told us to come in and get checked out, generally once your waters have gone they check on everything and you are put on IV antibiotics after 12 hours if things are progressing due to the risk of infection. We went in about 3.30pm I think. She questioned whether or not it was actually my waters, I told her I definitely didn’t piss myself so it had to be. I jokingly told her it smelt like semen and not urine (have heard this is strangely normal). She done an internal and confirmed I was 1-2cm dilated and done a stretch and sweep while she was done there which was not the most pleasant of experiences but knew it’d be nothing compared to what was ahead. After we left things felt different, I knew that whatever she’d done had really moved things along. She’d told us to come back at 10pm that night, with all our stuff and expect to be in for the night (and that we wouldn’t be leaving without a baby). If things weren’t to progress, the plan was I’d be hooked up to an IV for antibiotics until things got going.

Not necessary, at 8pm I screamed at my partner from the bathroom to call the midwife and ask if we could come in earlier to which she said yes yes, come in. My contractions were getting closer (don’t even ask how far apart as I can’t remember now) but they were getting more intense. I think contractions really stepped up for me around 6pm (from memory) and just got worse from then on. Having contractions in a moving vehicle is one of the most hideous experiences, sitting at the lights trying my best to slump into my seat so the people next to us couldn’t see me while I was gripping the door panel in the car so hard I was making an indent in the rubber. We were traveling from Lower Hutt into Wellington Hospital as this is where I had chosen to give birth (we lived in the city when we found out I was pregnant). We finally pull into the hospital carpark and sure enough, the fucking lifts lock off at 8pm. I was adamant I was going to give birth in the carpark gripping the pay & display machine. We buzzed L&D and what felt like an hour later (was actually less that 5min) a security guard with a wheelchair arrives in the lift. I’ve never been so happy to see a complete stranger.

We get settled into our room and they do another internal and I was only 4-5cm I think? I was disappointed, with the pain I was feeling I was expecting 10cm! Hah! Sadly no. I remember struggling to find a comfortable position to ride out the contractions. I was on the floor at one stage, on the bed, walking around and spent a majority of my time on the toilet as I constantly felt like I needed to pee (more that I ever did throughout the whole pregnancy). On what was to be my final toilet visit I sat down and ‘WHOOSH’ the most unreal noise and hollywood gush of water, so much so, my partner, the midwife student and midwife all heard it even with the bathroom door closed. I look behind me in the toilet (as you do), it was brown. For a split second I thought holy shit, I just did the most ruthless shit. No, meconium in the waters and I knew that was bad so I went into panic mode instantly. I yelled something along the lines of ‘holllyyyyy fucccckkk I need to push, he’s coming’ and the midwife ran in and helped me off the toilet and onto the bed. I started off labouring on all fours on the bed, I found it so uncomfortable and constantly felt like I was going to shit. This is very normal by the way and was one of my biggest fears. I didn’t, thank god. My partner was AH-MAZING, putting ice cold flannels on my forehead and shoulder blades, within seconds they felt piping hot and I’d yell at him for more cold ones! I finally got my way and was able to swap positions and labour on my back, instantly I felt like all this pushing was actually getting me somewhere! I went into the birth wanting to have no drugs whats so ever and I am so pleased I was able to fulfil my birth plan. How? I have no idea. Sheer determination and the right mindset I think. I recall people telling you about the ring of fire, by god. The feeling/pain down there would resemble somebody holding a blowtorch to your lady bits at close range, on that final push when I actually felt him coming out was the biggest relief I have ever felt in my entire life, I instantly felt a pressure release (duh, a human just came out of my VAGINA!). Don’t get me wrong, the pain was out of this world but the moment they’re out and you hear that first cry, it actually is so worth it (I thought people were crazy when they said this to me). He was straight up onto my chest for skin on skin and was so alert! My partner cut the cord which was amazing as we didn’t think he’d be able too (hates blood etc, and there was plenty of it). Once I thought it was all over I forgot I still had to push the placenta out, thank god its squishy and barely compares to a HUMAN! My poor partner, the midwife said soft push, which I swear I did and the placenta literally shot out, along with a fuck tonne of blood. Apparently there was a small pocket of blood behind the placenta which helped with it’s exit, haha. I thought my other half was going to pass out. It looked a lot worse that it actually was. Upon inspection, it turns out my sac ruptured in two places, hence the two lots of waters I lost. It was definitely reassuring to know I hadn’t pissed myself earlier than morning but a bulk of the waters were lost on the epic toilet visit. To be honest, the hours after this were a blur. I remember my parents coming up to the delivery room to meet the little fella and this was such an awesome moment to watch.

Looking at my pregnancy and delivery records/discharge papers I was in established labour at 8.10pm, admitted at 9.05pm (30th of August), was fully dilated at 11.45pm and gave birth at 12.49am (31st of August). Looking at it that way, it seems so short, but it really didn’t feel that way!

Labour deets (for those who care):

1st stage: 03.35

2nd stage: 01.04

3rd stage: 00.12

He was born happy and healthy weighing 7lb5oz.

I suffered two labial lacerations which required stitches, thank god I received anesthetic as I don’t know how much more I could have taken down there.

Would I do it again? I don’t know, haha. Not anytime soon, but if I was stupid enough to I think I would definitely try for an unmedicated, natural birth again, I felt so empowered afterwards and it was such a good feeling.

Women are amazing, regardless of how they birth – what an experience. Hats off to all your mums out there. The human body is an amazing thing.

birth