Kindness is one of the things I want to see more of. It’s one of those feelings or moments that tend to stick with me the most. At that moment, a person is presented with various options – and they chose to be kind. That is pretty cool, we need more kindness in the world.

I was at Kmart today (again.. I know, I’m on a cleaning/organizing buzz). Baxter wouldn’t listen and Lily well, don’t even get me started. Some amazing woman helped me out, wrangling a trolley and fighting lily into said trolley. The gesture and kindness went such a long way. I was visibly stressed and losing patience at a rapid rate.

Kmart was their last chance before we went home.. I was taking Baxter into Toyworld in town to pick a toy after he went poos on the toilet (long story) and Lily completely lost the plot, wouldn’t listen, was having the mad tantrums and kept running off. I have never been so embarrassed and had to walk out only 5 minutes after getting them out of the car and into the store. I had to leave, I was losing my control.

I didn’t know the woman who chose to stop and help me and that is the beauty of it. Some beautiful stranger seen me struggling, she had a child with her so can probably relate. I felt embarrassed that I had indeed needed the help and that I wasn’t able to control both of the kids at that time but I was so grateful. It made me smile and brought me back down to reality (I was pretty wound up after the Toyworld incident). Her actions completely changed my day.

Isn’t it incredible that one moment can change your entire day or mindset? When was the last time you showed kindness? Maybe a random act to a stranger and paid it forward.

A positive mind and a full heart can have a huge impact on your wellbeing.

Here are a few ways you could show kindness this coming week I did a mass google but these stood out to me and I can proudly say I currently do these things:

  • Smile and say “hello” or “good morning” to a stranger walking down the street
  • Pay for the person’s coffee behind you
  • Create a care package for someone feeling under the weather
  • Let another driver merge into your lane – and don’t hate them for it (K, I don’t do this much – but I’ll try)
  • Thank a service person such as a police officer or fireman for their hard work and dedication to serving others – massive YES.
  • Give up your seat on the bus/train. Does it matter if they’re pregnant or elderly? If they look like they could do with a seat – give them one!
  • Always keep your word
  • Stick up for a person who has been treated wrongly – no good talking about it after, take action now
  • Let someone, who only has a few items, go ahead of you in the checkout line of the supermarket.

Next time you see a mum struggling (or anybody for that matter), help them out – we’ve all been there x

Thank you, whoever and wherever you are. You made a shitty day, a little less shitty.

Is it THAT time?
Reuben had always sworn Lily would be in her cot until she was 5 because well, she’s trouble. We had an incident the other week where she climbed out of her cot for the first time. Out of pure fear and in hope ditching the cot would prevent a more than likely injury.
We already had Baxter’s adorable old toddler bed so decided to introduce her to the ‘big girl bed’.
I don’t have any advice on the best way to do it, with both kids we decided to just ‘rip the bandaid’ off and get it over with. It totally worked with Baxter, he never once got out of bed and still doesn’t until the morning. Lily on the other hand has been a total nightmare in the sleep department from about 1.5 years.
We don’t have conventional doors, imagine giant glass sliding ones (yeah, so great for kids right?) so they’re quite difficult to work with. Both kids have their doors shut at night. Baxter doesn’t have a night light and we’ve just introduced one to Lily’s and managed to find a way to lock her door to stop her coming out (but easily opened in an emergency).
Tonight we’ve introduced duct tape to her light switch before well, who doesn’t love bright lights been switched on at 3am?
It’s day two and last night she managed to strip naked and piss on the floor in the middle of her bedroom.
So yeah, how do you think it’s going?
If you have any advice or words of wisdom – please.

  • you can nap and people would be proud of you
  • somebody will prepare all your food, even cut it into tiny shapes (all for you to not eat it anyway)
  • you can have a full blown meltdown in public and people shrug it off as ‘normal’
  • you can sleep through social occasions and it’s okay, in fact – people think it’s cute
  • you can make all the mess you want and some (idiot) person will clean up after you.
What would you do if you could get away with it?

I realized something tonight. Something that made me a little sad to admit.

I don’t really have many friends.

I was always the outsider, going against the grain. Bailing on events and occasions because I had been consumed by anxiety.

I lived on my own for over 5 years after an incredibly messy breakup – something I seem to blame a lot for.

I couldn’t disappoint anybody, and everything was on me. I only had myself to worry about.

I’m 32 years old and can safely say I have less than 5 people I could call on and they’d be there. While I know numbers don’t matter, I can’t help but feel sad. We live in this online world where everything is on show.

People have come and gone over the years, was this because of me? Did our lives just grow in different directions? Did they get what they needed from our friendship?

I get sad when I scroll my feed and see all the big groups of friends who have been together through it all. They got pregnant together, they plan their weddings together, their children grow up together – they even travel together. The constant feed that is social media is playing with my mind, telling me there is something wrong with me because I don’t have this.

I never went to a school formal, I got early exemption from the ministry of education to leave school when I was 15 and I’ve worked full-time ever since.

It probably makes me sound like a huge loser, and maybe I am? On reflection, it could seem petty – like is this all I am worried about? Do I not think my current friends are good enough? Not the case at all. I love the insanely small circle I have but can’t help but wonder if maybe I’ve pushed others away? There are people I once considered really good friends who have never even met my children yet continue to engage online like we’re still the best of friends.

Have I been so focused on my career that I’ve never bothered to really value a friendship in order for it to last? Am I a bad friend?

Has working in the online space for so long made me not able to function properly in real-world situations which has then hindered my ability to form normal relationships?

Has motherhood made me more lonely than ever before?

Please tell me I am not the only one that constantly feels like a loner.

As a mother and a human I have never felt so alone. I’m struggling with motherhood, I’m struggling with life in general.

I feel like I am fighting demons I can’t even begin to try and explain to people.

I am not posting this for attention, I’m posting this because it might explain why I don’t post or share much these days. What I do share is a tiny snippet of my life and people think I have it all sorted – I tell you now, I don’t.

My mental health currently has a firm grip on me and is ruling every aspect of my life.

I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to see anybody, I just want to yell or cry. I’ve done a lot of that. I’ve said things to my kids that I hate myself for.

How can people who are so small evoke so many emotions?

Today I realized that I am in this alone, regardless of the people who say they’ll be there – this is something that I think I am going to struggle with for the rest of my life. This is on me to try and overcome and I think maybe it’s time I try a different approach because the current approach is not working.

Today has been one of the worst days in a long time, I am in such a negative mindset and I am really down.

To the people who say I’m on here giving parenting advice yet in reality, I’m a terrible mother – thank you for making this dark depression even worse, for making me want to shut down everything I’ve worked for and disappoint the people I’ve helped better themselves.. I have only ever been real and honest about this journey and how I am feeling.

I know people say, you can talk to me but how on earth do you tell somebody about the horrible thoughts that go through your head? That sometimes you want to run away and never look back because others don’t deserve the sea-saw of emotions. That sometimes you’re just like honestly what’s the point? My existence isn’t even a happy one.

I love my kids, I truly do and I often think I don’t deserve them and that they deserve somebody better as a mother.

You may think somebody has it all sorted and has a really good life, but remember that small snippet is far from what the daily grind is like. I see others post photos of their happy families, of them winning this whole parenting thing and here’s me – wondering how I fucked it up so badly. I get jealous, I really do.

When I’m not yelling or ripping my hair out of sheer frustration, I just cry. Then some days the cloud is gone and things feel better – until it returns.

Why am I posting? I don’t know. I honestly feel like I can’t even tell anybody how I am feeling these days. I get criticized for posting stuff but this was my safe haven.

I struggle with depression and anxiety but I have also become a very angry person. I spend so much time trying to fix everybody else that I am falling apart from the inside out.

The mind is a scary place.